10
Game: The Bigs
Achievement: 250,000 Points
-Get 250,000 points in Home Run Pinball.
The home run derby in this game is amazing. Instead of putting you in a park where you ho hum hammer out a few your in times square hitting balls at giant neon lights collection power ups and basically fucking some shit up.
9
Game: Crackdown
Achievement: Airtime Assassin
-Shoot and kill 5 gang members in a single jump (while airborne)
Keep in mind these kills are all in the same jump. There's something magical about a game where you can leap tall buildings and cap five chuckle heads in the face in a single bound.
8
Game: Battlefield. Bad Company
Achievement: Forest Ranger
-Knocked down 1000 trees
Dale: Hey Mike I am going to get this Forest Ranger achievement
Mike: WHAT A THOUSAND TREES THAT WILL TAKE FOREVER.
next day
Dale: Oh i got that achievement... yeah I got bored and started AA gunning trees
7
Game: Soul Caliber 4
Achievement: Numeric God
-The last two numbers of total play time and remaining time in a victorious battle were the same.
Sooooo yeah that happened.
6
Game: Quantum of solace
Achievement: Time to face gravity
-In White’s Estate, open the cellar door with one shot.
The way to get this achievement is head shot a guy on a balcony. His corpse will then fall over the railing through a cellar door. Pretty good achievement to get with a well placed shot but think of how good it would feel if you ran around a corner with an Uzi and just shot a hail of bullets at a guy and the first shot just happened to catch him in the face.
5
Game: Too Human
Achievement: Feeder of Ravens
-Kill 10,000 enemies.
You know a game is fucking good when you have killed 10,000 enemies and are still playing it.
4
Game: Burnout Paradise
Achievement: Parallel Park
-Power Park achieved with a 100% rating
The absolute best part about this achievement is how I got it. On the second try. Yeah yeah yeah it might have been a fluke but I beat Mike so thats all that matters.
3
Game: Spider-Man Web of Shadows
Achievement: Id
-Spent time with Black Cat
"Spent Time with" is code for had sex with. Even if the developers didn't intend it to mean that I am extrapolating that meaning. I made Peter Parker go bad and Have sex with one of the hottest female comic characters ever thats awesome. Now more crybaby little kid Spider-bitch I made him truly a Spider-Man.
1 a
Game: Lego Star Wars The Complete Saga
Achievement: Let the Wookiee win
-Pull 25 arms off other characters.
1 b
Game: Lego Star Wars The Complete Saga
Achievement: Follower of Fashion
-Wear Every Hat.
Lego Star Wars got first and second place because these two achievements are hilarious on their own but looked at side by side they are Epic. You have Pretty much the toughest BA achievement ever which sees you ripping guys arms off that contrasted against the a typical femme achievement of wearing all the hats in the game makes it the clear out and front winner.
F-ZERO TO F-HERO: 10 Favorite achievements of 2008
Review: Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead has been one of the most intriguing titles to hit the 360 in the past few years. Mixing the genres of survival horror with true co-op/team gameplay has created an incredibly enjoyable and exciting undead beast, yet one that has countless simple flaws.
The Good: Teamwork
Hands down, L4D is the best cooperative shooter I have ever played. When compared to other games in the genre that are recognized and respected for their co-op aspects, such as Gears of War or Halo 3, it blows them out of the water. This is because in virtually all such games, you play it pretty much like you would a single player game, except you sometimes pick up an injured teammate or take turns driving / shooting a vehicle.
L4D completely abandons this style by forcing the team of 4 survivors to be exactly that: a team. This is accomplished primarily through the use of "special" zombies which can pounce on or strangle a survivor, incapacitating them. An incapacitated survivor CANNOT defend themself - a teammate must come to their aid and hit or shoot the attacking special zombie away. As a result, you end up playing like a team - watching each other's backs, rushing to each other's aid, and constantly saving each other from death. Another surprising benefit of this gameplay style is that is greatly enhances the game experience by creating a powerful bond and sense of kinship between the players, elevating the game's goal of survival to an almost-real state of believability. In this sense, L4D's co-op nature almost needs to be compared to other "team" games, like EA's NHL series.
Another unspoken benefit sure to be appreciated by anyone who has played public games on Xbox Live is that this game will likely be hated by the idiots who ruin online play with juvenile behavior and attitude. It takes a reasonable level of maturity/responsibility to succeed at Left 4 Dead - if a player is selfish, doesn''t care about their teammates, or has a "I can do everything by myself" superiority complex, they will lose. Going into a public game full of strangers and already knowing that the other players want to work with you as a team is an incredibly encouraging sensation.
The Good: Variety
One of the most publicized and anticipated elements of L4D was what Valve calls the A.I. Director, a system that ensures that every game is different. A basic example of this system at work in L4D is that one game a room will have a medkit, and in the next game it won't. Not being able to rely on pickups really makes you appreciate them more when you find them - sometimes you unexpectedly find an ammo cache or much-needed medkit and you genuinely feel lucky.
However the A.I. Director is capable of making more complex decisions that truly create unpredictable, uneasy scenarios. The most commonly experienced event is that if the team of survivors lingers too long in an area, suddenly a giant horde of infected will rush around the corner or start crawling through the windows. Not only does this prevent players from slowly and easily working their way through a level, but creates tension by forcing them to keep moving - just as if they were really in a zombie-infested city.
Another perfect example of how the Director really keeps things interesting is placement of special zombies. Last night while playing, a friend wanted to show me a useful shortcut he had found before, where we could bash down a door and skip a difficult scripted zombie attack. We gathered around the door and bashed it down and started celebrating (we weren't sure if Valve had removed this shortcut in a recent patch). However our celebrations were cut short when we realized just a few feet away lying in wait behind the door was a tank special infected (picture an undead incredible hulk that pulverizes anything nearby). We barely survived and walked away shaking our fists at the sadistic Director.
The Good: Versus Mode
Deserving of its own category, L4D's versus mode is where the game truly shines. Versus mode lets four players play as the infected against four players playing as the survivors. After playing through to the first checkpoint (or until all the survivors die), the teams switch roles and play through the area again. Both sides receive points depending on how many survivors perish and how far they make it. As good as the campaign mode is (and it is very good), versus mode is just awesome. First of all, being able to be an infected and take your revenge for the countless times you were murdered in campaign mode is extremely satisfying. But since you are against other real players, when you pounce or strangle someone or catch someone lagging just a bit too far behind, it is delicious because you know EXACTLY what they are thinking as you claw their face off.
Teamwork is also very important as infected. While you don't have to worry about defending or rescuing your teammates, if you don't coordinate your attacks you have a much smaller chance of winning. A survivor team working together can fend off any single threat - a zombie horde, a tank, etc. Which is why in order to win, the infected must throw the survivors into chaos. A well-coordinated infected team can blind the survivors with a boomer (special infected that vomits/explodes into bile, blinding players and attracting a swarm of regular infected), and then while the survivors are blinded and fighting the swarm, take out one survivor with a hunter infected pounce attack or a smoker infected strangle/drag away attack, both of which eventually kill the survivor if they aren't rescued (and of course, their teammates are blinded and dealing with their own problems). As the survivors, being the victim of a well-organized assault is thrilling, regardless of who wins the struggle.
The Good: Presentation
The sensory elements in L4D are interesting. The graphics, while good, are not groundbreaking. The music, while fitting, is also not exceptional. But they are combined superbly in the game, especially when combined with fantastic horror movie-styled lighting. Streets are dark and foreboding, lit only by a blinking storefront neon sign or a lone car whose headlights were left on as it was abandoned. Subway tunnels underground are cast in eerie red light, but then you end up in a brightly lit warehouse and you can see every snarl and grimace on the infected's faces. Even though you don't often get the chance to carefully examine the infected, the level of detail on them is impressive. (We had a good laugh one game when we noticed a recently killed infected was still wearing a pair of bright pink and green striped socks).
The sound and music are also secondary to the gameplay, and is used mostly as indicators of danger. The game tends to be either eerie silence or a chaotic symphony of screaming infected and shouting survivor. But when the audio does kick in, it's always noticeable and effective - you can hear a hunter infected growling before it comes into sight, and when a tank is nearby you hear a blood-pumping crescendo before it bursts into sight. All in all a very slick and polished presentation.
The Bad: It Sucks Alone
I'll be honest. Left 4 Dead is terrible by yourself. It's boring, it's hard (in a bad way), there's no storyline, and it just feels like an average kill-everything game. The excitement and danger created by saving your friends just doesn't carry over well when you are saving nameless computer bots who just run around getting strangled and stealing the medkits.
The Bad: It Sucks With Two or Three Players Too
It's not much better without a full team too, unfortunately. The behavior of the computer teammates is annoying beyond belief. They go from being ridiculously omniscient, shooting special infected a block away before you even see them, to being complete morons and standing in the middle of a three-hall intersection being ravaged by a horde of infected while the actual human players huddle in a defensive corner.
The Bad: Not Enough Variety
There are only four levels in the game, each consisting of 5 sub-stages. It doesn't take long before you have played through them all, and while the A.I. Director does accomplish great things in keeping the gameplay varied and fresh, four levels is still only four levels. To make matters worse, only TWO of the levels are playable in versus mode. While there is probably a good reason for this (maybe the unavailable levels have areas that aren't balanced for versus play), it's still very disappointing.
A lot of people would also point out the lack of weapons as a negative. (Your initial weapon choices are a shotgun or uzi, then you can upgrade to a scoped rifle, auto-shotgun or assault rifle.) As a result, it gets a little boring using the same 2 or 3 guns over and over again. However, I think adding too many options would devalue the game's core experience, as it is the simplicity and teamwork that are important and not the weaponry. Yeah, Halo 3 has some sweet energy swords and sticky grenades, but they're completely different games trying to satisfy completely different niches. A few more guns would be fine, but too many would ruin it.
Another common complaint is that the survivors don't have different strengths and weaknesses. I am neutral on this one. On one hand, it would be nice to be able to fill a specific role in the group, like if one survivor was good with explosives while another ran faster. On the other hand, this would cause problems when players didn't get to play as their favorite character. As it stands now I like to play as Bill, the grizzled war vet (he's grouchy and cranky which I find amusing). But if someone else takes Bill, I am fine being a different survivor because they're all the same. An interesting dilemma.
Final Score: 9/10
I give Left 4 Dead a 9/10 because for me, that is what it is. I play it online with friends. I know 7 people now with the game, and once we get another person we can do full versus matches and it will be incredible. However if you don't know others with the game or don't like playing with strangers, you will enjoy this game much, much less. If that were my situation I would give it a 4/10 for being a smooth playing game with no storyline, and very limited replay value and variety.
New Meme
We came up with a new internet meme today. We present it to you now.
A Year in Azeroth
So crappy Blogger erased the post I made a week ago about how Shaun and I have been playing World of Warcraft for exactly a year now.
I had some handy calculations figuring out how much I have actually paid for WoW this year and how it compared to buying new 360 games. It worked out to something like the equivalent of 4 new Xbox games. Knowing how I play Xbox games, I doubt I would play each of those 4 games for 3 months (making a year) so WoW has been worth it. Plus, that is including initial purchase costs of WoW, Burning Crusade, and Wrath of the Lich King. If I play for another year and there is no new expansions it is only like 3 Xbox games, so even better value for my play time.
There is also the case of how much time played. Well, all I know is that after 4 or 5 months we moved to a different server, and my main character on the NEW server has played for something like 20 days...so like 500 hours. And that is only my main character. On the NEW server. Scary. Then again I did rack up over 400 hours on Monster Hunter for PSP which was no quests, no storylines, just slaughtering monsters...so basically what I am saying is this is a terrifying statistic and I should stop talking about it.
I am convinced that the devil works at Blizzard, because every time I was feeling a bit bored of WoW or felt the game was getting a little stale, they come out of NOWHERE and suck me back in.
"Hmm I'm a little bored of leveling right now."
"Oh here is a new patch with an entirely new dungeon and area to level in, and a major storyline swerve that changes the entire game."
"Hmm I've played all the classes and I'm bored of them."
"Hey guess what we reworked every single class and made them all more fun and exciting and added new talents to make everything new and fresh again."
"Dang, I'm still bored now even with these new talents and everything."
"Merry Christmas, here is a new class that is unbelievably fun and refreshing to play as."
And it's not just me! Shaun said he was going to quit WoW. Dale and I had our doubts and made a bet on how long he would last. We ended up both being wrong because Shaun's declaration of quitting WoW lasted LESS THAN A DAY.
EGM is done
Well Electronic Gaming Monthly is dead and I am filled with sadness, shame and regret. Here is the official press release that I found mirrored on www.talkingaboutgames.com "http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/home/permalink/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20090106006505&newsLang=en". I should probably learn how to do that hyperlink stuff one day. Aparently my child hood favorite game mag is going to be done after January 09. My favorite Videogame Podcast is in stasis until further notice and my second favorite video game podcast is the peddlar of dark news on this terrible day... actually Jan 6.
The Uncle Gamer podcast while doing a test live podcast mentioned that 1up digital assests were purchased by UGO. It was kind of skimmed over as a teaser for an upcoming 100th special podcast. I wanted to leave it till I knew it was more than a rumor. I didn't want to find out because garnet, shane and john with 1up yours had grown very dear to me. The still to be determined future of 1up yours is my sadness. I love their podcast and without it work will be well more worky. Fridays will now be just the start of the weekend and not game podcast day. Whats even worse that out of 73 1up employees 40 will be playing more video games in the near future. As in they were laid off. Really youshould go read the story at www.talkingaboutgames.com they have great coverage and even have a link to an interview the editor of UGO did with a MTV in which he comes off sounding like a giant prick in my opinion. But c'est la vie the depression has come and everyone everywhere is suffering in some way.
That explains my sadness but how could I feel shame if I had no actually affect on the whole situation? Well my answer is that I never really supported my favorite game mag. Even though I love magazines I never buy them because come on love is beautiful but 8 bucks is 8 bucks. I feel shame because I never in any manner let EGM know that they were rad. That I have poured over their pages since the Genesis of my gamerdom... get it see what I did there... the video game system named Genesis and the begining of my video gamerdom. Actually I started before Genesis but I digress. Now that the 20 year run is over its hard to think of theworld without it.
I feel regret as well as sadness and shame. Being a video game writer for EGM was a teenage dream of mine. It's one of the main reasons I went into Journalism in the first place. I regret I gave that goal up as a pipe dream. I convinced myself it was most likely impossible and now it really is impossible.
Goodbye EGM thanks for the memories.