Minecraft Story Mode sucks

Do yourself a favor, if you`re thinking about spending six of your precious dollars on this game, don`t. Take your money go find a homeless person and give him your money and get him to tell you a story. The hobo's ranting and ravings will bring you more pleasure than this game ever could. Not only will the transient's tale probably last longer than the mere two and half hours it takes to finish the first episode of the Tell Tale game and not only will you be doing a good deed thus aquiring calmness to your soul but it will be a more enjoyable process than playing this game.

I'm bitter and i have a right to be. We've been waiting 5 years for Minecraft to finally release something that resembles any sort of an ultimate purpose to sinking our lives into Minecraft days at a time. Instead we get nothing more than reading conversation trees and quick time events. This would be the equivalent of asking your parents for He-Man's Castle Gray Skull for christmas only to find an abomination built out of duct tape and pencils by your weird single uncle under the the tree on Christmas day.

I guess I could be to blame here since the tagline of the game is "a choose your own adventure based in the world of Minecraft." It was wishful thinking to hope it would be anything more fun than those shitty schoolastic books from 30 years ago.

The buzz on this game is that it's actually aimed at a younger audience which terrifies me. Somewhere out there are kids building castles and putting their bed exactly enough blocks out of the corner for it to have the proper fung shui and they're thinking to themselves "if only this game got rid of all the building aspects and made me read for a couple hours straight."