So me and Mike started playing Halo 3 online yesterday. Yeah Yeah I know everyone played it a year ago and we didn't for what ever reason. I guess All the other gamerz gets inter cred, or pwnage points or what ever gamers have that makes them cool.
You can check out our stats there on the left it tells you where you killed people what you killed them with all the good stuff and special bonuses and ten million other things that will get me fired from work for innefficientcy and trying to figure out where the best place to shoot people from is instead of doing work.
What is really rad and I have never ran into before is the theatre mode. You can make movies, short clips and take snap shots. This is my favorite thing because well when your telling your friend how funny it was that this guy died after you ran him over and looked like he was playing air guitar on the way down and seems like on Army of Two congratulating. (I can almost hear "ladies lift your shirts" just looking at the picture) you want proof. What you friend might also want to show you in the picture is that right after you killed a guy to get your first splat medal in that exact hilarious way is that you actually immediately continue to run him over right after ward because he has active camo and you didn't see him.
Over the headset it sounds like this
Dale-"hahahahahahaha did you see how hilarious it was when I ran that guy over"
"yes, because you also ran ME over at pretty much the same time"
"What right beside the guy who played air guitar... Lemme look at the screen shot... OH there with the active camo hahahahahaha I didn't even notice that I hit more than one person. Thats pretty hilarious that you were right there for my first run over medal... Did you get a good view of the air guitar?"
"Nice one Bro"
the run over
Yeah but can I snipe from there?
Ok when you make a new blog you have it laid out in your head. Me and Mike were going to make this blog make a thousand hilarious and at the same time awesome posts and gain a trillion fans become famous go on that guy from virgins first ever space flight marry soulful yet beautiful women who not only hold us but understand us and then we would have children and raise them to be killer assassin beast ninja kids.
You know what we've been doing instead? We've been crawling around the Call Of Duty 4 maps looking for Sniper spots.
We both want to find some good ones that no one will guess to look at but more importantly we want hilarious ones that make us feel good knowing that someone is watching their kill cam and seeing us, prone-on top of something just stupid shooting their face.
Fear not event though the world will not know the vigilante justice of our ninja kid we did find some pretty hilarious snipe spots. Actually mike found it and I used it. There's a street light In the Crash Map and you can sit on top of it and watch the unwary run under you. Willfully picking them off at your leisure.
I haven't been able to decide if it is better than standing in the dumpster in downpour and screaming "HAVE SOME FUCKING GARBAGE BITCH" as your shooting people thought the doorway and window of the house. I would say on the rediculous fun snipe scale their both about 12 bananas out of 4 grapes.
COD4 Melee Attacks
During a COD4 match the other day Dale was talking about how in Halo 3 you get a sweet butt end melee attack. Well that made me think that although COD4 is super customizable with their different weapons, it sucks that you can't change your melee attack. As awesome as the knife gank is it gets repetitive after awhile. Here is a list of totally rad alternate melee attacks you should be able to unlock:
Mike:
• Butt end of whatever gun you have
• Bayonet
• Lead Pipe
• Mailbox
• Longsword
• Battle Axe
• Headbutt
• Knee to Ass
• Chokeslam
Dale:
• Big boot to the face
• Judo chop like Goldeneye
• Neck Break
• Giant Battle Axe
• Baseball swing of the gun holding the barrel
• POWERBOMB
• Punch Combo
• Johnny Cage Nut Punch
• Vulcan Neck Pinch
• Running Clothesline
• The Jax Head Punch
• Actually every Mortal Kombat finisher ever
• Including Babalities
• And Friendalities
Ryan:
• Three Stooges Eye-poke
• Strap Choke
• Crotch Kick
• Jack Bauer Neck Punch
• Jack Bauer Run Off the Wall Flip Neck Break
• Basically, Jack Bauer Moves
Top 10 Things in Army of Two
Mike in Blue - Dale in Pink
- "You couldn't trust me after all we've been through? Fuck. You."
"Nice one, bro!"
congratulating my co-op partner constantly so he didn't get a chance to run away from the missile he just booby trapped and we both blew up. - Clyde's lines: "Fucko!" and "I'm going to kill you, drain the blood from your body and take out your bones, put your body on a chair with a bunch of elves and reindeer, and tell you all the cool shit I want for Christmas."
grabbing a shield as your working your way through the delipitated bunker and slowly creepy up on a guy. He's shooting your shield constantly and you finally make it to him and just bash him accross the face. - We murder the wrong government official, our escape chopper is MIA, and we just got publicly framed/blamed for the murder and are hiding in hostile enemy territory...and Salem starts rambling about who his favorite Wu-Tang rapper is. Just awesome.
in the tutorial it explains that you must hit some enemies from behind and that it takes teamwork to get him to pay attention to the other member while you move into position and line up a good shot. I immediately sprinted straight to him and shot him in the back - Somewhere like 1/3 or halfway through the game I got the achievement for dragging and healing my partner. To illustrate the significance of this feat, by the end of the game, Dale still hadn't gotten it. About an hour into playing through the game a second time, with me rushing kamikaze every chance I got, he FINALLY got it.
running and gunning so much that my co-op partner got an acievement for healing me 25 times within the first 2 hours of game play - Rigging a room full of biological weapon chemicals to explode and then high-fiving your partner repeatedly so he can't leave the room, and then rolling out of the room right before it explodes and before your partner can escape
not playing the game the way it was intended by working together with your teamate and blasting through it in 7 hours - "Hey looks like we found (bad guy)'s base!"
"Really? Could you tell by the guards, buildings, and guns...or are you just fucking psychic?"
(horrible jamaican accent) "Just call me Miss Cleo!"
shooting every tv in the lobby of ssc headquarters - Air guitar on a gigantic sniper rifle. Correction. Gigantic GOLD sniper rifle. Repeatedly.
Clyde running around and showing your character up by killing everyone and calling you a fucko - One of Tyson's melee attacks is grabbing a fleeing enemy by the hair, pulling him back and KNEEING HIM IN THE ASS so hard it sends him flying forward in a double backflip.
Even though i was told it was lame before i played the game making your character play air guitar on the stinger missile is pretty much the best example of blatant irresponsibility with an explosive device i can think of. - There's a bunch of totally useless mini-cutscenes where it cuts out of gameplay to show Rios and Salem opening a door, or lifting a grate, or whatever. Just after we commented on how useless these were, the next one showed Rios opening a door and then tripping Salem as he enters for absolutely no reason at all.
The cut screen inbetween levels when your characters are going through a door and one trips the other for no reason. - LADIES LIFT YOUR SHIRTS!!
"Ladies lift yer shirts"
Best XBOX LIVE feature
The votes have come in and the best feature for XBOX LIVE is MUTE.
Annoying 12 year old kids busting your zen like snipe skillz... MUTE.
Some guy thinks he can sing and likes to share it with you. HOMIE DON'T PLAY THAT...MUTE.
Young fellow from the southern us a little too racist for you to knife kill in peace...MUTE.
Gangsters jive talking your turkey...MUTE.
Pretty much the only way you can play COD is with half the gamers on mute.