Games in your pocket.

(that picture is actually from a free game advertisement from world industries for a shooter based on their popular water and fire characters called Roid rage its free at http://www.worldindustries.com/roidrage/)

For a long time I have had a dismal view of hand held video gaming. Mike on the other hand loves his PSP and it almost took an exorcism to get him to stop playing Monster Hunter. Which is totally fine because that game looks rad. I do have to point out that its not that the games didn't look good enough especially with the roms and moding you can do to your playstation portable. No my main reason is i would feel dumb playing it.

I am never really loitering around or waiting for anything long enough to constitute the need for a portable machine to fill the lulling void of empty time. I don't even use my MP3 player anymore... I know sick right. This is the way it works. I am either in my car on the way to work or home or that odd random time when I get out of the house. If I am not in my car I am either at work (right now shhhh) or at home. I could never play a handheld at work because people would know how much I slack off. At least when I am on the computer I can pretend I am working and not actually playing Settlers of Catan online. (www.games.asobrain.com/) I mean How could I pretend I am designing an ad when I am hunched over poking the shit out of a DS and swearing.

Home is also out of the question too because I am already backed up on 360 games. Right now I am Playing Precipice of Darkness, GTA 4, Lego Star Wars (which i probably wont pick up again) and Condemned 2 Bloodshot. Which by the way is fucking amazing and makes me feel like I should have called in sick to work today just so I could play that survival horror all night and scare the bejesus out of myself. I mean No matter how could you tell me handheld gaming is its not 360 calibre.

Any way enough bitching about my hardluck life. Its time to breach a subject I have been trying to word right in my head for a while now. I feel like that character who practises that big speech in front of a mirror in a movie or after school special. Has anyone ever done that... really. I mean flexing your muscles and screaming like an idiot wrestler doesn't count because technically thats not really a speech... its a challenge. Back on subject the topic I am talking about is playing video games while pooping.

Yes I just said that.

I started playing this game on my cell phone at work on my twoskies. Its some block breaker game where you have to go through the levels and collect gifts and money to enter a tournament. One day at work I was trying to read the paper. Giant clumsy and full of stupid stories I don't give a shit about. Even though I work at the paper designing ads I never read it. I was frustrated and threw the paper down. Not finished my biznach I realized I could only stare at the door for so long so I took out the Cell phone and the rest is history.

Everyone know how uncomfortable it is to go to the "office" empty handed. Adversly we all know it is infinitely more uncomfortable to be the guy carying reading material to the bathroom. No one wants to be the guy who is "going to take a giant shit that could choke a horse thus necessatating a pocket novel to help him work through it." But hand held games are perfect they fit in your pocket.

plus its a good way to slack off at work I mean is anyone going to call you out for taking an extra 5 on the old clock. "Johnson that shit was 17 minutes instead of 12 what the fuck where you doing in there." Yeah pretty unlikely and if it is likely someone would say that to you. Quit your job. Thats fucking terrible a man should be able to "make business calls" in peace and not have to hurry to anyones stop clock. I mean if you push too hard you could prolapse your anus. So don't push hard settle down pull out some game and get comfortable. My block breaker between the two jobs has already wasted hours in the last 3 weeks alone. The best part is if you think about it your getting paid to play video games..... and shit.