Shadow of the Colossus sucked!

There I said it. I immediately feel better. A lot better.

With the announcement of The Last Guardian getting everyone in an uproar of simultaneously shitting their pants all over the place and ball washing of Team ICO. I stand alone on an island with this sentiment of hatred and bitterness. Since I still have a sour taste in my mouth from Shadow of the Colossus I'll tell you why it sucked.

I remember hearing the buzz about the title. Leading up to my actual playing of the game I heard legendary and earth shattering and revolutionary and a bunch of other wrong words. Guess what your game wasn't a game.

There was no story. I say this because the story you thought was in the game was what you extrapolated from the simple cut scenes throughout the game. Who was that girl? Who was the shadow? Why was the world empty? Why were the only living creatures lizards? These are the questions that were never answered in the game. You were led to believe the answers were there but they were simply hinted at.

There were no characters. Sure there were a handful of giant statues you had to figure out where to stab but beyond that and your horse and that dead girl you carried there was nothing. Oh wait there was that light thing that pointed out where to go to get to the next creature and kill it. Awesome! Wait what if I don't want to run 20 minutes through an empty landscape void of everything but a ruined gazebo here and there?

Don't get me wrong the graphics of that game were awesome but that might have to do with the fact that there was nothing to render. There was no skinning and texturing besides green grass and blue sky. Probably a few ruins here and there as well. Oh I almost forgot about all the hair on the colossuses or colossi or whatever they were they were hairy.

I just want one thing from Team ICO and that is for them to make The Last Guardian a real game.

Can I have this check list?
Drops: armor and weapons.
Characters: maybe more than 11 this time. Fucking around: going from boss to boss is ok but there seem to be alot of games that managed to make pissing around in an environment fun. Peons to thwart: call me crazy but sometimes I just like destroying small enemies like flies. Eating lizards: ok I liked that part. Theres just something about eating reptiles that makes you feel badass
Online Multiplayer: Just joking I just said that to troll.
Easter egg rewards: When I spend 34 minutes climbing vines and jumping from outcropping edge to roots to foliage to make it up a cliff maybe give me something for my efforts. Its just polite. A leveling system with unlocks: I mean more than making my grab circle bigger.

Ok just give me all that and I will be fine. Oh could you also leave out an overwhelming sense of guilt because I destroyed some stoic beasts for no reason other than getting a zombie girlfriend.

Thanks I look forward to your fans trying to castrate me soon.