I live tweeted Final Fantasy XIII-2

I'm starting final fantasy XIII-2 Pretty slick opening video with some ambient music and a guy carrying a girl into water

shits going down in the opening fmv. Oh damn that's a big spell raining down on enemies. Why is the theme from love boat playing

I only played about an hour into the story of Final fantasy 13 so i hope this one makes sense

Oh great now that i started the game it's the same video with awesome narration "engage in battle and rejoice"

Ugg cinematic button que events are THE WORST they always seem so hamfisted into the gameplay. The battle tutorial is nice though

"Cinematic action. Press x repeatedly" how bout you go fuck yourself and get on with the fight

The bad guy caius is awesome. This game better pull the switch over where he becomes a playable character

Just got 5stars on the first battle. SUCK IT GAME. So if my name's lightnig and i'm in valhalla and i shoot bolts am i a sexy zeus?

Aaaand it doesn't matter because lightning is dead and now i'm controlling her sister serah

Noel has to find serah to change the future which doesn't make sense, lightning is dead in the present so won't she still be dead

This game's story better not get too complex because i'm drinking beers while playing and i'm already lost

Oh nice you get to pick how you control the camera that's big points

Oh if you haven't played ffxiii you can read the datalogue in the menu to catch up. Or not read and screw it i'll take option b

Wtf there's a jump button? I better not have to do any effin parkour while the buildings around me and underfoot crumble

"One more thing, don't ever lay down AND WAIT TO DIE" I fucking love cheesy final fantasy dialogue so much

nice there's a battle element called paradigm shift. You can focus on attacking one enemy with your party each memebr can take one

When your party attacks one enemy you get a chain and enough chains lowers the enemies defence. Shit just got real

Sweet there's a bestiary i can't wait to fight tonnes of enemies and fill it up and then nerd the fuck out

THERE'S DIFFERENT OUTFITS I CAN UNLOCK HELLS YES. i can't wait to get the whatever weird japanese emo one there is.

So your weapon is actually a moogle and when you're done a battle you cuddle it. Perfect victory celebration


I'm wandering around in the night screwing around and there's blaring up tempo viola jazz music wtf.

I'm not sure if it's just weird japanese mannerisms but i think the big tough guy character in the game just had a hissy fit

Great i'm barely an hour in and already i don't know how to get to the next area of the map... stupid jump mechanic

This fucking terrible music isn't helping the frustration any #cheesypianobreakdown

Using the paradigm shift repeatedly mid battle to go from a defensive formation to offensive is interesting but incredibly tedious

Noel's voice over sounds like an over articulated tom cruise

The music is great again sultry saxaphoneis just what I want in an RPG I just never knew it untill now

This game is gender confusion to the max. The guys look like girls and the girls look like 12 year old boys

I think playing this before XIII might spoil the plot of XIII

These conversation trees are just filing me with anxiety. What if I choose the wrong one and don't get a giant sword

I think life would be a lot more hilarious if we all adopted FFXIII-2 body language

Come on it's been over two hours where's my new outfit

The most impressive advancement is the design of the chocobos

And they sqwak like a peacock when you jump. That'll be 20 minutes of added gameplay

Now the dogs in my house are going apeshit because they think there is a peacock outside. Make that 40mins of extra gametime.

That's two cut scenes while I wait to leave the starting area RAAAAAAGE

There's a character named godot and his voice over sounds like a petulant Bruce Campbell AND HE'S NOT A PLAYABLE CHARACTER WTF

Sweet there's a new time travelling element where the more places you go the more places open up so i can literally get lost FOREVER

Turns out you can change which character you have as party leader in battle and exploration. Sorry girl with a bow and arrow I would rahter be the dude with two swords. Have fun questioning the meaning of EVERYTHING while I just smash it all

ARE YOU SERIOUS I CAN ADD MONSTERS TO MY PARTY?! THEY FIGHT FOR ME?! best thing EVAR

The monsters have a special ability that you can use once their battle bar builds up TOTALLY AWESOME the first monster i'm using is a cat and it's special ability does a tenth of the damage as a regular attack NOT COMPLETELY AWESOME

other than the one song i was complaining about earlier the sound track is totes rad. Except when you talk to characters in the game the music stays the same volume, which is off puting

Oh nice my cat monster, which looks like a cross between a grey alien and a mogwai, heals me which makes up for his completely wussyness

Oh nice i found a traveling merchant... who is dressed up in a super sluty chocobo outfit... it's weirdly very sexy... don't tell my mom

Holy crap you can infuse one monster with the skills of another by combining them. This game is going DEEEEEEEEEEP

How is this game still throwing new elements at me. Now i'm stuck inside the temporal paradox and i must solve a dissapearing floor puzzle *gilz*

So far I've gotten two battle achievements and both had vague descriptions. "defeated an army's worth of enemies" How many is that? "fought a significant amount of battles without using retry" Sweet what's the numerical equivalent of significant. I think i just wrote a rap lyric

The best feature of this game so far is the fact that if you don't want to fight a random encounter you can just run past the enemy and skip it

All the characters in this game look like gelflings from the dark crystal

Oh man two gates to choose from do i go for the one out in the open or the one off the main path. Which one will have better loot? For the record i could not read a choose your own adventure book without cheating. THIS IS KILLING ME

So i jump 295 years into the future and the loading screen is only half of thay HEY OOO

I'm in the woods fighting a giant tomato monster

I feel like this is one of those bosses i'm supposed to loose to since i've been fighting him for ten minutes and have only gotten him down about a sixth of his life bar he keeps healing himself and my cat monster keeps healing me. Lets do this i got allllllll night

Thank god for autobattle. Spamming 'a' button

(ten minutes later) I've got a quarter of his life bar down

(22 minutes into fight) Just over half way. If he has an epic attack at low health i'm effed

(26 minutes into fight) Tomatoe monster is down to a quarter health

I died... eff sakes i think i should have levelled up a bit more haha

If i get stuck fighting this bad guy a half hour each time just to repeatedly fail that'll be a game breaker

I levelled up my crystal skill tree thinger so maybe i can beat him this timI levelled up my crystal skill tree thinger so maybe i xan beat him this time


This is that effin tomatoe monster i'm fighting his or her name is royal ripeness which is kinda funny

I BEAT IT... but then i screwed up the button prompts because i was trying to take a picture


Look who brought his big dumb face to help fight the tomatoe. A toqueless snow

Well that wraps up the first six hpurs of my gameplay i should be done most of the tutorials by now right?... RIGHT?!

Ok i looked it up and in the american military a platoon is 26-64 which what i am guessing it would be since i got the achievement pretty early

Ok i found an achievement description it actually is 100 enemies. And the achievements that say a significant amount of ________ is 50 fiddy