How the WoW Patch is like an NHL game

There are many great things about WoW, but one of the best is how they constantly release new content to keep everything new. Granted, this balances out with paying monthly fees, but it's still pretty awesome.

Case in point, the latest patch that was released ON MY BIRTHDAY. Now, most patches for games do things like:
• fix bugs
• fix a monster that is 100x harder then it was designed to be
• fix your fireball spell that instead of shooting fireballs kills you dead

This is what most patches are. Game fixes. However WoW patches are insane. They release new areas, new monsters, new items...they release more in patches then some games do in entire expansions. Because hardly anyone I know plays WoW I will explain it in terms as if you were at a home game for your favorite NHL team.

1. You're at the game and before it starts, they tell you the power will go out after the first period and it will be down for an hour. (WoW was down for a day while they updated and after we had to download a massive 2.5gb patch.)

2. The lights come back on, and the hockey game starts up again. You notice all the jerseys got overhauled and look better now. (WoW graphics got tuned up noticeably.)

3. In addition to being able to skate, shoot, pass, hit, and fight, the players are now able to turn back time. (After years of having a set number of professions such as blacksmithing, enchanting, alchemy, Blizzard introduced a new one called Inscription which is changing the entire game. It is like Diablo's gem-slotting system, but for actual abilities instead of gear.)

4. Whenever someone does a drop pass, their team gets a bonus penalty shot. (Blizzard made some of the old professions grant special bonuses, like extra health or an improved critical hit chance.)

5. You know that 4th line scrub on your favorite team that plays approximately 13 seconds a game? Yeah he got traded. For Alexander Ovechkin. And every other player on your team also skates harder and shoots faster. (Every class got huge power/enjoyment boosts, and Dale and Shaun's favorite class - the Paladin - went from being one of the weakest classes to one of the best.)

6. Speaking of players, you know the prima donna player on your team who is really good but gets in trouble off the ice, complains all the time, and causes fights in the dressing room? Well, he's had a change of heart and is now a perfect teammate, took a pay cut to help the team, donates huge amounts of money to charity, and offered to paint your house. (The Hunter class gets an animal pet/companion who fights with you, but before it was pretty flawed - you had to keep feeding the pet to increase its happiness, capture other animals to learn special pet skills, and not all pets were equally good. But now, the happiness system is gone, all pets already come with their skills, and each of the different pet types are all good. PLUS, they added more tame-able pets. PLUS!!! they gave each type of pet their own special skill tree to customize. It's insanely awesome.)

7. Earlier you bought a hot dog, but now you wish you had gotten some nachos instead. Well, turns out the arena now lets you pay like a buck to switch! And to top it off, when you're choosing your new selection, you also see new things on the menu that weren't available before, like an ice cream sundae! (There is now a barber shop where you can change the appearance choices you made when making your character, and you can also select hairstyles that are not available at the character creation screen.)

8. During the game, fans start doing the Wave. You take part, and a nearby security guard hands you a little souvenir pin. Later on, you buy a game program and receive a second pin. Curious, you ask the program seller and discover that now when you do certain things at the game, you'll receive these useless but fun pins. (WoW took a page out of the XBOX 360's book and introduced Achievements, with many of them being retroactive. At current count there are over 900 TO GET.)

9. Last week, your team announced that during the playoffs, every fan in attendance would receive a free ice cream sandwich each game. Well, it's still the regular season, but now the team has decided to start their free ice cream promotion early, and everyone gets free frozen treats! (In the WoW expansion coming mid-November, the level cap is being raised from 70 to 80, which means new higher-level skills will be available. Blizzard decided to make these higher-level skills available now, for free!)

10. If you smoke or have to leave the arena in the middle of the game for whatever reason, you used to have to keep and show your ticket stub to get back in. But now, the security guards memorize your face, and when you come back, you can just freely re-enter the building. (Riding mounts and pets used summoned from items, which meant you had to keep them in your inventory, taking up a bag space. But now they become spells, meaning no item, meaning no unnecessary bag clutter.)