Two Worlds Brain Punch pt 1

I am just over 11 hrs of play time into Two Worlds and I don't see myself finishing anytime soon so I started doing what anyone would do in a sandbox RPG fucking around. I am going to give you sort of an abriged journal entry-esque could I be anymore vague type thing on my adventures. I say abriged and journal type because I am not going to bore you with an overly detailed recap on my progress and the plot line of the game because that to me would be kindof like plagerism... Well that and the game is gigantic and I am too fucking lazy.

Basically up untill now it has been pretty straight forward I ride into a town solve everyones shit problems and get some gold and delicious goodies and items. The ingredients I pick up for the alchemy part of the game I cook haphazardly including metals and all my shitty herbs without paying attention or renaming any of the potions as a result. Funny though I found out that your not supposed to mix permanent items with temporary items but don't worry I wont get into that later--at all its fucking boring to do and even more boring to write about.

So that brings me to where I am in the game basically I am just at the best point in any rpg. I understand the gameplay basic story whats going and all that shit. I have some kick ass weapons and am strong enough that not ever fight is me getting shit stomped and crying all over my blood soaked dead body. Actually I am handing out a few shit stompings personally to whomever or whatever I feel like. I am at the point in the game where the thiefs in the forest know not to fuck with me... I kill them anyway as my character chuckles to himself swinging his two axes around hilt to hilt like a giant douche churning baddie bull dozer.

I was handing this out left right and centre untill I found the Rams cave. Ps there are a tonne of random caves in this game named afer animals but YOU WASTE MY TIME... do you know the goats cave. So like in this here Rams Cave there are these things with no heads and they do jumping brain punches that kill you instantly. Even though my body armour all combined is a fuck of alot and it has spikes it's still one punch death. The Ogre's used to do that but that was when I was little bitch in my leather armor so that didn't count. This Rams cave is full of good shit more gold sharper weapons and pointier armour. Oh and those no head guys you kill them and eat thier heart and it boosts your stats which is awesome.


Also in the cave is our little friend pictured above. He however had a head and a bunch of horns sticking out. In his natural wooded environment you can see the monster "demon" mid brain punch. With these fellows though you eat their eyes not their hearts.

After I am done with the rams cave I am running straight north on my skeleton horse. I got the after I found a random tower full of necromancers who are extremely week if you eat a zombie thyroid and become immune to poison. Anyways back to going North I find a "forgotten settlement" and my interest piques and my greedy little hands clam up with anticipation. Forgotten or hidden or all those other words along with a town, city or settlement always mean bitchin items in video game land. So I go through the town... No quests alright lets see whats there break into house try to break open lock box... WASTE ALL MY LOCK PICKS NO OPEN... Dammit I guess I could talk to the people milling about they run away screaming for me to get away from them... This little fucking fogotten settlement is turning into a glaring dissapointment. I finally chase a guy down and talk to him "Get out of here. Tell no-one about this place it must remain secret. If you stay here your doomed." Well thats a good idea I guess it is forgotten and you want to remain a secret and a wise old man once told me the best way to keep a secret is to KILL EVERYONE MOTHER FUCKING CUNT BAG IN THIS SHIT HUT TOWN NO ONE IS SPARED NOT EVEN THE GODDAMN CHICKENS THATS RIGHT I EVEN KILLED THE CHICKENS.

What does my character say to this. No moral dilema he just chuckles and says "Thats what you get you dog" Yeah mother fucker that IS what you get. WHO'S KEEPING SECRETS NOW BITCH HAHAHAHAHAHA.