Two Worlds Brain Punch Pt2

Did I ever tell you about the time I killed ten Wyverns in bare feet. How bout the time I sacked 5 Sea Bandit camps naked.

After crushing another necromancer tower I find that they still do nothing. Although the view point from the top being so high that when you jump of the side you die before you hit the ground is pretty breathtaking these towers seem to serve no purpose. I had speculated that they would be like warp points but alas as it stands they are just black phalic towers to peer from.

After this empty victory (I didn't get any good items either) I decided that maybe it was time to do some soul searching. Maybed the old mercenary aught to take a break figure out whats the real meaning of this tedium. So spotty my new horse who I have actually managed to not kill by accident for about an hour of gameplay took some us time. We went for a magical light canter along the beach of the ocean.

Off shore I notice a little island and the item hunter takes over again. Maybe there is a good item over there well lets go check it out. So I park Ol spotty on the beach and start to head out on my swim... and drown I forgot I was wearing the boots that you can't swim in. No problem come to life at the nearest giant stone ankh Check the old inventory to just equip my old boots aaaaaand they're gone. I have this bad habbit of being neat with my inventory with RPGs and constantly constantly sell, trade or just drop shit I actually need all sacrificed for order and not reading through a thousand different items. No prob i will just equip nothing.

As I am swimming for about six days staring at my characters bare feet bobbing through the water I realize that when you unequip something that part of you is naked. Damn first chance I get I am getting naked... I wonder if there's wang in this game. Back to the island that is quickly approached I start to notice that the island is covered in 10 wyverns. (its a small island). Yeah I am not getting naked untill I kill these bastards. I am still bitter at how big a pain in the ass these a-holes were at the start of the game and now even though i do have two axes that do a combined damage of 1993 as apposed to the flacid penis-ish 230 damage i did when my resentment to these creatures began they were still a pain in the ass when they swarmed. Even with just barefeet I had to keep running and curing. As soon as the last one was dead though insta naked. No wang though just a little fur skirt. Also another dissapointment there was no item on the island. No item + no wang = complete dissapointment.

After I got back to the main land me and spotty resumed our northern trek up the beach were we ran into those guys from the pirates of the caribbean movies the sea pirates that were half sea creatures or whatever. Nothing and I mean nothing gets a man over his little emo whats it all mean dark little soul searching funk thank killing shit naked. So I ran around the beach Killing Sea Bandits by the campload naked and chuckling and tossing out one liners along with my twirling fire and spirit axe killery. I had gotten through 5 camps and roughly 28 foes when my naked ness turned into a problem.

For Some reason this camp was full of zombies. If theres anything scarier than fighting zombies its fighting zombies naked. Could you imagine how scary that movie down of the dead was if the characters were naked... Although that would be pretty hot... (mental note google sarah polly) It would be scary as fuck.

The hilarity factor of being naked was waning to tedium because like wyverns zombies swarm and do poison damage. So with the scale of tedium and hilarity leaning to far towards annoying curing all the time I threw back on all the armor. And wiped out another camp.

As I mounted trusty spotty once again I thought about the meaning of my adventures thus far and realized the true meaning of it all.

Kill shit naked its rad,