I finally finished Dead Island

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I finally finished Dead Island using the character Sam B. As you can tell, since the game came out roughly two months ago, it took me quite some time. 24h 46m 04s to be exact. Actually that's not quite exact since I died a billion and two times and I am almost convinced that your game clock doesn't ding you for the multitude of times you play for two minutes from your save just to get punched in the face and genitals by a grandma zombie and loose your pocket wad. (The game dings you a random amount of money every time you die.) Since there is no way to tell how much time I wasted falling of cliffs and getting brain punched by Thug zombies we will just go with the aforementioned amount of gorey hours.


After playing through the game I would recommend it to anyone who's got some time to burn and hankering for carving up some zombays as my co-op player Anthony Whittrock affectionately called them--right before I blew him up... A lot.

While I'm on it the co-op in this game is great for farting around, blowing up propane tanks to close to each other, driving off cliffs while your friends are in the passenger seat and once in a while even accomplishing some meaning full tasks. In fact the game is near impossible to finish without the help of another person wildly swinging weapons in your close proximity. Which conveniently is what I will blame the large chunk of my deaths because I was alone for most of my playthrough.

Don't get me wrong it's nobody's fault but my own since there is an endless amount of faceless zombie destroyers waiting to team up with you online. The drop in and out co-op makes this painless. I didn't want to use it, though, because I like to play games while I watch TV and find all manner of ways to get distracted and forget that some poor sod halfway across the world is getting angrier and angrier at me because I am in the kitchen burning a pizza and not going through a door that would progress the story line of the game. That said I also dislike the thought of loosing and precious treasures while I am afk.. or afcontroller more appropriately. I need my preciouses, all of them.

I am a giant loot hoor. I care about loot and I care about it a lot. This is another reason why Dead Island is fun to play--there's literally shit lying everywhere. Well not literally shit more like a vast array of weapons and ingredients tucked into every nook and cranny of the island. That's right I did say ingredients there and you can make your own weapons. You know what's cooler than slashing a zombie's arm off with a machete? Well when you cut it's arm off and then the zombie gets electrocuted, or poisoned, or starts on fire, that's what. Well in Dead Island you get to take ordinary weapons and then you bad ass em up a bit. You can wrap barbed wire around a sledgehammer, there's the classic nails in a baseball bat and even make poison bullets--somehow you can poison something that's dead. Don't ask just shoot because your gun doesn't get damaged like your melee weapons.

Going into Dead Island I thought the weapons getting damaged mechanic was going to be a game killer for me. After all I famously rage quit Fall Out 3 after my launch anything weapon broke after a mere hour of shooting flaming teddy bears. but I digress. It's true your weapons do get damaged at a speed which is highly unrealistic. Shouldn't your weapons suffer less damage since zombies are so soft and pulpy? More annoying though is you can't upgrade or modify a damaged weapon so you have to constantly repair your bent knifes and broken sticks. This would be a giant pain in the ass if the developers didn't graciously litter the landscape with workbenches, at which you can repair your wares for a nominal fee.

If you're like me and you can't help your self from rooting in every zombies pockets and bikini bottoms, then you'll have no shortage of cash flow to make it rain on your favorite baseball bat that you turned into a spiked morning star (yes it's gloriously true those exist in this game). There are also traders littered around every human base. So, if the corpse robbing you've been doing isn't up to snuff for your needs of tools of destruction, you can also sell your bent hammer that you don't feel like fixing again. You might as well sell your hammers since the blunt weapons don't progress as high in damage output as the sharper stabbier ones.

The fall of blunt weapons bothered me since I was playing with Sam B, the expert in blunt weaponry. Since I juiced his skill tree to favor blunt weapons I was sorely disappointing that I had to abandon them later on in the game and have a lot of wasted skill points. Oh yeah there's skill trees in this game now pick your jaw up off the floor and put your genitals back in your pants. I know it's pretty ridiculously awesome that this hack and slash has all the right parts of an RPG and not to much of the sleep inducing forever-long conversations. Knowing what I know now though about the skill trees I would highly recommend playing as Xian since she specializes in sharp weaponry.

The good thing about each character is that even though they have specialties they are still customizable because each character has three skill trees you can plunk a point into every level your character progresses. You can choose everything from lock picking to zombie head stomping. I would have said corpse there instead of overusing the word zombie but that would be misleading because there are human enemies you have to fight in this game and you cannot stomp on their heads when they become corpses, sadly.

That's right this game is not exempt from that annoying zombie premise that makes you have to fight humans because "we're the real monsters". Which is even lamer because aren't the zombies just resurrected dead us's anyway? As much as I hate this cliched turn of events you don't have to worry about it too much because any pea shooter you happen to be packin will pop the human eggshell heads in a single shot. If however you don't blast them in the face and choose rather to get in close to mele range you'll just die because they can take a severe beating. True to the annoying overused sub plot of humans vs humans it is you in these situations that is always the pulpy tender victim.

That should pretty much cover everything about this game besides the plot. I don't want to ruin it for you so I'll leave that out. You'll just have to find out for yourself. They say the real enjoyment is in the journey, which is even more enjoyable when your committing zombie genocide everywhere from a beach to a jungle to a prison.

Live tweets from Deus Ex Pt:3

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

#DeusEx is about to loose me if i have to do one more conversation tree before I get to shoot things again

of course I forgot #DeusEx is an RPG and of course that means I get lost in the world and can't figure out how to get to the next objective

I would really like to not be running around like a lost asshole right now #DeusEx

And now I'm in some random hoble because I went up a fire escape and climbed through a window. Found some ammo dealer... still lost #DeusEx

- MattyDorf @superdalebot a couple guys I work with have been talking about that game. Sounds like it's great, but hard.

@MattyDorf ugh tell me about it I've either been lost or talking for two hours I need to shoot something #DeusEx

As much as I love the slick design, I keep getting hung up on the wardrobe. It's like a NuMetal fan Raped 80's futuristic anime #DeusEx

Oh sweet i found the police station. Time for some hot action? NO ANOTHER CONVERSATION TREE. Oh joy non-consequential back story #DeusEx

- iamanth @superdalebot How far are you now?

@iamanth just got to the police station sooooo still the beginning

Oh nice you do an inventory search on a corpse and pull out his hacker brain chip. They called it a wet drive. Silly #DeusEx

- iamanth @superdalebot I'm just pass that. I haven't played since Thursday. Are you playing it on the 360 or on the PC?

@iamanth 360

@iamanth i havent shot anything in hours

- iamanth @superdalebot Taking the stealth route, huh? Did you save the hostages? I didn't... I feel so awful :(

I am not taking the stealth route just got lost and then too much talking. i did save the hostages I thought I had to #DeusEx

-iamanth @superdalebot I completely forgot about it. :( How did you get into the police station?

@iamanth that riveting conversation with the knob police officer who shot the kid when we were partners. I HATE the conversations #DeusEx

-iamanth @superdalebot Ah... I wasn't able to talk him into letting me in since I don't have that social augmentation. So I went in through the roof.

@iamanth I have no augmentations yet. Haven't figured that out. Roof would have been faster than talking #DeusEx

- iamanth @superdalebot I stacked crate after crate to get in over the fence lol

@iamanth haha Nice i never even thought about doing something like that

When do i get to kill something again. Snoooze #DeusEx

Sweet I didn't get lost enough in the street might as well head into the sewer I can't see this going badly #DeusEx

Of course there's electrified water in the sewer because if it wasn't i wouldn't die when i fell in #DeusEx

Finally in a gunfight. Made it about as far through gang territory as i could by stealth... 20ft #DeusEx

When it rains it pours with #DeusEx directly from one firefight into 4 more. This game has serious pacing issues

From talking for 2 hours to death 12 times in a row fighting mercs #DeusEx #RAGEQUIT

Live tweets from Deus Ex Pt:2

It's nice of the loading screen to have short synopsis that you can catch up on the story so far while you wait for the game to load #DeusEx

in the future paint cans are hexagon shaped cylinders #DeusEx

In #DeusEx as I play i am turning on all the taps throughout the levels A) because I can B) because I want to be a water bandit

Live tweets from Deus Ex

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I decided I would Live tweet my experience while playing Deus Ex. Here are those tweets.


So far deus ex is a goodlooking game but the combat is kind of annoying since your so weak you need to use cover from which shooting sucks

It's a good thing there's no ammo in this game since it takes about a full clip to hit a guy once

the terrible aim cover shooting is especially frustrating since as soon as you step out of cover your pretty much dead

MattyDorf @superdalebot my friend Brad just got that and said it was hard as hell

@MattyDorf yeah this game is lucky it looks so slick and I have beer because it's pretty damn frustrating

pretty cheeky of #DeusEx to not allow me to make the iron sights a LS click instead of left trigger

I'm live tweeting a game I rented on a friday night. You can pretty much extrapolate what type of person I am from that sentence #deusEx

- iamanth @superdalebot Or you just suck.. I'm getting headshots with the pistol... ;-p

@iamanth ha i don't even have the pistol yet. I'm at the very beginning #DeusEx

- MattDorf @superdalebot yeah he said that just when he got good at sneaking up on and killing people they threw robots at him and that was done.

@MattyDorf obviously I was premature with my redicule because I was just playing the prologue before the credits

When they decide to use CGI instead of in game graphics for the cutscenes with the yellow wash, that's when the magic happens #DeusEx

I get beaten and shot by bad guys. I get cyborg parts to help me live then I fight crime. I'mgoing to pretend I'm future robocop #DeusEx

The stealth moves are pretty sweet and the baraka sword arm lethal take downs are awesome but i really just want to run and gun #DeusEx

I wasted my time and money on Brink

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I should have known it would be just alright. That's what Brink is, middle of the road, luke warm and all the various other terms that mean some good and some bad.


Sure the customization is good and I can pick the outfit I wanted for my character to wear but by the time I can get anything really interesting I'm already done the game. Sure I can play the game online to further unlock more shiny bobbles by grinding out experience but I really just don't want to. I can't bring myself to deal with the frustration of getting my ass kicked by fifteen year old cocky pricks like I'm playing a clunky cartoony shooter akin to Quake. And all just so I can finally get some pants that are badass.

If the game didn't have the shitty weaponry and terrible shot registry I would be more inclined to put some hours into it. More specifically what I mean by shitty shot registry is it seems, that even with the strongest weapons it is still annoyingly hard to kill the enemy. I find myself peppering bodies with a giant light machine gun and on the rare occasion when my bullets don't miss they seemed to have no effect. This ineffectiveness has me convinced that it doesn't matter which weapon I chose because I they all feel like nerf guns.

Further more Brink uses that god awful engine they made for Doom 3. Instead of feeling like a bad ass sniping soldier of carnage I am turned into a child who is trying to paint skinny bodies with my fingers. With out delving too much into my fanaticism about 3rd person shooter engines I'll just say that I like when my gun shoots where I aim it and not in a random pattern around where my cross-hairs lay.

When it comes to engine consideration all designer should realize the true reason that the Call of Duty series does so well: your gun shoots precise powerful bullets.

With the aforementioned shortcomings to the game-play you now understand why I would not want to spend time grinding in this game. I don't want to farm xp by playing through levels where the main frustration is the shit you're shooting at isn't dying.

The worst part of the non-delivery of this game is the promise and potential it has. The different classes and abilities to provide you team mates with buffs is a fresh a cool aspect to employ in an FPS. Picking from three different weight classes that have different weapon and mobility options can really split levels into different experiences. The heavy guys get the most weapons but the skinny guys can climb onto rooftops that no-one else can reach. The middle guys are a marriage of both aspects lessened respectively.

This could have save the game if, when you actually did get on the rooftop, you weren't using the crappy guns that aren't proficient at killing. The same goes for the heavy characters there's not much use taking a big machine gun and walking slow just so you can spray bullets all over you enemies if you actually are just missing and shooting the wall behind said enemy because your bullets are too inaccurate.

In the end Brink is all icing and not enough cake.

RIP poffo

Saturday, May 21, 2011

"Macho Man" Randy Savage is dead. As one of the greatest wrestlers OF ALL TIME had a heart attack at the wheel of his jeep and crossed over a cement meridian and through on coming traffic to hit a tree more than just a legend was leaving us. A piece of my child hood went away with that man.


His real name was Randy Poffo and before he was the most electrifying man in sports entertainment he was a decorated baseball player. In the position of catcher went as far as getting signed to the St. Louis Cardinals.

With his many years in the WWE and WCW he won 20 titles. But by far his greatest accomplishment in life was playing Bonesaw in Spiderman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHU7NolJuZ8&feature=related.

Thank you Mr. Poffo you will immortalized in the grandest way possible... in my minecraft world

Me and Mike watching a minecraft video and talking about it

Friday, May 6, 2011

After tweeting mike my latest creation in minecraft. I have found a very minecraft friendly font (arcade).

a message from mine craft

he suggested a new project.

@ So here's a new Minecraft challenge for you:

@ soooo my challenge is to get the nerdiest sounding voice of all time


@ You unlocked that achievement years ago

@ hahahahaha "you see this door it's forty blocks tall." hahaha

@ thats were we keep the adult beverages hahahahahahaha

@ Hahaha it must have taken him so long to do

@ just imagine how long it took him to measure his entire belongings in inches

@ "Honey what are you doing, you doing some renos?" "No dear I have to accurately build our house in a computer game."

@ his nerdy southern accent is amazing

@ haha he even has water coming out of the faucets

@ YEAH haha now that is attention to detail

@ this guy is the bob ross of minecraft

@ if they crossed katamari and minecraft I would die of nerd

@ You should make a giant room somewhere and create a Katamari scene/diorama

@ put a lot of effort and time, time and more time into it hahaha