GTA IV

Friday, May 2, 2008

The new game in our console stable is the infamous Grand Theft Auto IV. I present to of our first night on the streets of Liberty City.

  • Approximate number of cars stolen: 125
  • Approximate number of cars destroyed: 115
  • Approximate number of cars driven into water: 5
  • Rivers successfully jumped: 1
  • Unsuccessful attempts at jumping river: 1
  • Number of helicopters destroyed: 8
  • Number of helicopters destroyed which then crashed on us, exploding and killing us both: 1
  • Boats launched up a dock and onto boardwalk: 1
  • Number of Swat Vans stolen: 1
  • Number of motorbikers destroyed by out-of-control Swat Van: 1
  • HOLY SHITS: 27
  • Buildings entered: 1
  • Buildings entered that weren't strip clubs: 0
  • Uncontrollable laughter and controller drop: 6
  • Times got huge air thus preceding to land upside down on motorbike 4
  • Cars launched off pile of debris into an oil refinery basement which then had to be discarded because there was no way to leave except on foot: 5
  • Times tried to drive car over dirt patch to jump instead careening out of control and giving up: 12
  • Times dove out of car then slid on belly under parked car glitched the game and died instantly: 1
  • Times dove out of car to break off streetlamp with head and survived: 1
  • Times played guess what's coming as one person hides behind rock and other goes and gets a random vehicle to jump over rock off cliff and into water only to have person behind rock shoot rocket launcher into bottom of firetruck as it passes overhead killing both players: 1

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